i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
