So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
