He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
