So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im part way to drunk.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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