We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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