GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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