My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
