I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
