I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
