She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
