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I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
