He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
