I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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