it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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