Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
