I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
