they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
