Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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