No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we're so committed to being not committed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize