I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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