I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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