The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
