Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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