Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
