so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
