im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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