Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
