So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
