Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
