you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
