guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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