well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize