what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
