I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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