we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
