Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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