when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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