Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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