He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
