so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
