Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize