Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
