i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
