Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours

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(864): View more from South Carolina

So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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(317): View more from Indiana

i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..

(1-317): View more from Indiana

yeah thats usually a good indication.

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(845): View more from New York

no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.

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(807): View more from Ontario

We're not ready for visitors right now.

(1-807): View more from Ontario

wtf? who's we?

(807): View more from Ontario

The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.

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