If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
