sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
