Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
