Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
