You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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