just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
