This girl is more easily done than said...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
