Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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