I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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