What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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