its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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