YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
