you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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