You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
