bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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