Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
