is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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