I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
