I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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