even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
