Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
