So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
