I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
