Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
