I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
