i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
