Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
