is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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