so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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