I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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